Theme is often the most missed opportunity in a brides toolbox
Cultivating a theme for your Wedding is not as simple as most would think it would be. A theme can help create a feeling of cohesion from the moment your guests receive their invitations in the mail, giving them a sense of continuity from beginning to end. It helps tell a story. Themes take a guest’s experience to another level, yet many shy away from fully developing one because they are often misunderstood.
What it is not & what it does not have to be
I took a special event planning course in college and one of the first lessons they tried to hammer home repeatedly was: theme does not equal decor. Although decor should reflect the chosen theme, in order for the theme to be fully developed it must go beyond decor. Commonly when you ask a bride what her theme is, what you get in response is something along the lines of “Burgundy, blush with hints of gold.” But a theme being deduced to a set of colours is ultimately incomplete. Your wedding theme should ignite the five senses and temporarily transport your guests into an immersive experience.
There is a misconception that Your theme has to be something that ultimately defines you as a couple. You don’t have to be a Trekkie or a hardcore travel enthusiast in order to have a theme. Your chosen theme doesn’t have to reflect who you are as a couple, it also doesn’t have to be a bombardment. It can appear in subtle clever ways throughout the day without continuously beating you over the head with a stick. It doesn’t have to resemble the obviousness of the Pinterest board of a five year old’s birthdays.
Developing a Theme
Start by trying to think outside of the box. Preferably With your partner (or your closest wedding crazed friend) brainstorm without judgement, no idea is a bad idea (initially) – write everything down. If your partner isn’t really into it and your friends are not around , feel free to take it on yourself and invite collaboration efforts down the line. Have fun elaborating certain details and take some time to explain what your vision would be for each theme. Trust me when I say this is far more valuable than simply googling “potential wedding themes”, if one doesn’t pop out at you, take a break and revisit them later. Sleep on it. Try to eliminate ones you yourself cannot envision for your big day.
Once a theme is chosen it is time to soak up inspiration from the world around you, NOW you can tirelessly google images and ideas, and pin to your heart’s content. Remember that two weddings can have the exact same theme but channel it in completely different ways. Fully develop your theme; try to be as specific as you can, so you can define what it is and what it isn’t, while being open to the theme taking on elements you never initially imagined.
For example when I was trying to choose a wedding theme we eventually settled on Neverland, but I knew right away I didn’t want it to be an ode to Disney. Although certain elements would be incorporated that can be found from the Disney movie Peter Pan i didn’t want it to take over the theme. I researched the era from which the original book that was written, and also tried to come up with visual clues of symbolism I could incorporate. My bridesmaids wore necklaces with thimble pendants. (Etsy is great for custom details). No one was in costume, but my ring bearer carried a teddy bear down the aisle and the groomsmen carried pocket watches (reminiscent of the ticking clock that lured the crocodile to captain James hook)
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”― Maya Angelou
One of the most important steps in developing a theme is coming up with the overall emotion you want your guests to experience on your wedding day. Keep this overall feeling in mind throughout your wedding planning process. For our Neverland themed wedding we wanted people to feel a sense of whimsical fun and being carefree. After the church there was an ice cream truck with treats awaiting them as they arrived at the venue for an outdoor cocktail hour. Our kid guests were delighted to find foam swords they could use to run across the mermaid Lagoon to the tree house to have a proper duel.
Venue and Theme- The Chicken or the Egg
If you have gone through the brainstorming process and still don’t have a front runner for a theme, keep your list and proceed with visiting venues you may want to book for your wedding day. Sometimes physically being at a venue will allow one of the themes to stand out.
We had not settled on the theme but went to view venues, when we stumbled across the Berkley fieldhouse. The all white rustic room with a huge antique chandelier and awkwardly placed staircase that lead to a trap door in the corner of the room was enchanting. It had double french doors that opened up to an urban garden, with a great patio a creek and a tree house. The unexpected whimsy reminded me of an idea on my potential theme wedding list ; Neverland became the front runner.
Incorporating your Theme
Start by printing two lists; one of all the potential vendors needed, and second create a list with what items you will need throughout the day. For example: Unity candles, Guestbook, Bombonieres, Bridesmaid dresses etc etc. As you go down the lists make notes about where you can incorporate your wedding theme. Some will jump out at you right away, while others may come to you as you inquire about booking these vendors or researching your items for purchase. Let your vendors know about your theme as they may have suggestions on how you can showcase it while using their service. Having your ideas and inspiration images handy is a great help as well. Our decorator really helped bring our theme home. She sat with me, looked over my thousands of Pinterest ideas and helped break them down to make them a reality, you never know what your creative vendors can help you come up with. A Theme is also a powerful decision making tool as it often allows you to filter out things that do not compliment it while making decisions. There will be items and services that may not enhance your theme but remain neutral and that’s okay as long as it does not hinder it. If you’re currently wedding planning, developing a theme is a Powerful tool that can be used to really set your special day apart.
XOXO Jennifer Furtado
